Self-esteem
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves.
When we have healthy self-esteem, we generally view ourselves and life positively. This enables us to cope better with life’s ups and downs. When our self-esteem is low, we tend to see ourselves and our lives in a more negative and critical light, making life’s challenges seem insurmountable.
Valuing oneself as a person is, first and foremost, a powerful psychological resource and generally a very positive coping mechanism. Self-worth and self-esteem depend on how we perceive our achievements, relationships, and satisfaction.
Low self-esteem can cause various unpleasant feelings and perceptions, such as depression, enduring violent relationships or situations, and the inability to see one’s potential, among other issues.
On the other hand, excessive self-love leads to an arrogant sense of entitlement and an inability to learn from failures. This can also be a sign of clinical narcissism, where individuals may behave self-centeredly, arrogantly, and manipulatively. Probably no other self-help topic has generated so much advice and so many, often conflicting, theories.
Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves. A confident person stands out, gets noticed, and is attractive. As with any other area of life, excessive extremes are undesirable, such as too low or too high self-esteem. It is desirable to find a healthy balance between them.
When a person is self-aware and balanced in their self-confidence, they:
- Distinguish self-confidence from arrogance
- Do not fear feedback or criticism
- Do not try to please people or seek approval
- Are not thrown off balance by conflicts and do not fear them
- Know how to set boundaries for themselves and others
- Can express their needs and opinions
- Are assertive but not intrusive
- Are not slaves to perfection
- Do not fear setbacks
- Do not fear failure
- Do not feel inferior
- Accept themselves as they are
How does low self-esteem develop?
Low self-esteem often begins in childhood because our teachers, friends, siblings, parents, and even the media send us messages that we consider positive or negative about ourselves.
At some point and for some reason, a feeling of inadequacy develops, making it difficult to meet our own or others’ expectations. Stress and difficult life events, such as illness or loss, can also negatively impact self-esteem. Personality also plays a role, as some people are more prone to negative thinking, while others set impossibly high standards for themselves.
Everyone’s experience is different, but over a lifetime, self-esteem seems to rise and fall in a predictable and systematic way. Research shows that self-esteem grows at varying rates up to around age 60, stabilizes, and then begins to decline in older age.
How does low self-esteem affect us?
With low self-esteem, a person may hide from social interactions, stop trying new things, and avoid challenging activities. In the short term, avoiding challenges and difficult situations may create a sense of security. In the long term, however, it can backfire, reinforcing doubts and fears.
Living with low self-esteem can harm mental health and lead to problems such as depression and anxiety, as well as foster addictive habits.
How to boost self-esteem and see your potential?
Here are some simple techniques that can help you feel better.
Notice what you are good at
We are all good at something, whether it’s cooking, singing, solving puzzles, or being a friend. We enjoy doing the things we are good at, which can help lift your mood.
Build positive relationships
If you find that certain people tend to put you down, try to spend less time with them or tell them how their words or actions make you feel. Try to build relationships with people who are positive and appreciate you.
Be kind to yourself
Being kind to yourself means being gentle with yourself at times when you want to be self-critical. Think about what you would say to a friend in a similar situation. We often give better advice to others than to ourselves.
Challenge yourself
We all feel nervous or afraid to do things at times. But people with healthy self-esteem don’t let those feelings stop them from trying new things or taking on challenges.
Set a goal, like joining a class or going to a social event. Achieving your goals can help boost your self-esteem.
Self-actualization – the pursuit of achieving your full potential
The roots of this concept lie in Abraham Maslow’s theory created in 1943. The psychologist presented a hierarchy of psychological needs, illustrating the order of human motivation.
At the base of Maslow’s motivation pyramid are physiological needs, such as the air we breathe and the food we consume. Once these needs are met, it’s possible to follow the needs for safety, love and belonging, and self-esteem.
Self-actualization occurs when basic needs are satisfied or in the process of being satisfied, making it possible to seek meaning in existence and personal and social self-fulfillment – through creativity, intellectual growth, and social progress. As Maslow himself stated, “What a man can be, he must be. This need we may call self-actualization.”
Allow yourself to be helped
Sometimes it is difficult to overcome all the emerging obstacles on your own, and in such cases, you can find help in various supportive practices. On the Rikardia website, you will find practitioners ready to support you on your journey of self-discovery and development.
