Constellation
Family constellation is a tool that can help reveal complex entanglements in both the family of origin and the current family or relationships. Every person’s family of origin has strong connections and influences on our present life and what happens in it. These patterns and connections can even extend to events that occurred seven generations back. As humans, we are loving and loyal to our family and ancestors, and therefore, we subconsciously compensate for the debts and needs of our parents or previous generations.
According to the Estonian Institute of Constellations, “changes in a constellation bring understanding, inner clarity, and stress relief, which allows deep relaxation and enables love to flow again between family system members.
Just as in any other system, our behavior in the family is also governed by unwritten rules, of which we, as family members, are mostly unaware. When one or more members of the system unconsciously violate these archaic laws, it results in suffering for another family member. This is done unknowingly, not out of rebelliousness, as one might think, but out of love – blind love.”
When we explore our feelings and perceptions in the “field of knowledge,” we can break free from family patterns that cause suffering. It is important to note that the family or part of it is not necessarily bad, but the family is simply a large part of our lives. For example, you may have a job you like or enjoy going to school and learning, but these activities can still cause stress.
In what situations can it help?
Constellations can be used to address a variety of issues, including physical, mental, and social problems. This method can help overcome the following problems:
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Addictions
- Bad habits
- Work failures
- Negative relationship patterns
- Family dysfunctions
- Past traumas
- Grief
- Obsessive thoughts
- Physical illnesses
- Financial problems
- Phobias
- Excessive guilt
How does it work?
In a typical family constellation session, there is a seeker, a facilitator or helper, and possibly other participants. The seeker is the person who comes to resolve a problem. The facilitator is the therapist who guides the constellation. Other participants are unrelated individuals who may also be seekers in their sessions.
The seeker’s problem
The seeker has a problem that needs to be resolved or overcome. The problem can range from nail-biting or smoking to relationship issues or depression. The session begins with a brief description of the problem, without discussing its possible causes. The session then continues with the seeker observing while seated.
Embodying the family constellation in a group
If other people are involved in the session, the facilitator chooses or suggests different individuals to represent specific family members in the role-play, possibly spanning multiple generations. The facilitator may also choose or ask the seeker to select individuals to represent the group to which the seeker belongs or the ideal they follow.
The participants are then placed in a field in a way that could be meaningful for the seeker in the family constellation. Everyone remains in place for a while during the role-play, giving the seeker time to connect with the morphogenic field and determine if the arrangement feels true to them.
Making adjustments
The facilitator adjusts the placement until the seeker feels it is “right.” This sensing can take time. Once the seeker agrees with the placement, they connect with it on a feeling level and reflect. This helps the seeker identify the source of their current problem.
At this point, the facilitator suggests each participant in the group say a sentence. The seeker takes their place in the family dynamic, and each person says their sentence. Again, if the suggestion does not feel true, the facilitator may try again.
Resolving emotional distress
After completing the family constellation exercise, the seeker, having identified the source of their current problem, returns to their life to learn more about the person involved (or part of their past) related to the issue. If this person is still alive, they can connect with them emotionally to heal the relationship. If the person is deceased or otherwise unavailable, the seeker looks for other ways to learn what happened in the past or what this person may represent, so they can resolve these persistent ancestral issues.
The video below provides a good overview of the essence of constellations.
A constellation usually takes place either in a workshop or in private practice as individual counseling sessions, and the methods used vary.
In a constellation workshop, a group of people gathers to participate as observers or representatives in the group constellation. The group can be large or small. Various dynamics and solutions that emerge in the constellation provide answers and understanding for both the representatives and the observers. The feelings present in the constellation field reach everyone.
Individual constellation is a private meeting between the client and the facilitator, with no other people present. The constellation is conducted either on a table or on the floor, using small specialized figures, objects, and other necessary elements for representation.
Useful to know
The theory of constellations was developed by the German therapist Bert Hellinger, combining his previous work related to therapy with his own life experiences and feelings.
For a period of his life, Hellinger was a Catholic priest and worked as a missionary among the Zulu people in South Africa. There, he observed how their culture provided healing and resolved family-related issues. He also noticed that Zulu spiritual ceremonies were very similar to Catholic mass rituals. These experiences influenced his later approach to developing family constellations.
After returning to Europe, Hellinger left the priesthood to become a psychotherapist. He studied with many notable psychotherapists from various therapy schools. During this time, he was influenced by opinion leaders in different family system therapies, whose areas of specialization included:
- Psychoanalytic methods
- Transactional analysis
- Mother, father, child therapy (primary therapy)
- Psychodrama
- Family sculpting
- Transgenerational psychology
- Neurolinguistic programming
- Provocative therapy
- Holding therapy
- Life scripts
- Brief therapy
In the 1990s, after working with families all over the world for more than 50 years, Bert Hellinger combined all these different ideas to create a new type of therapy and healing. Before his death, he wrote an impressive 83 books and conducted countless seminars.
Sources
Eesti Konstellatsioonide Instituut
BetterHelp.com
Konstellatsioonid.com
