GoodNews story. Meditation teacher Kristiina Kase: It's always worth taking time for yourself
Rikardia meditation teacher and certified instructor of OSHO Active Meditations®, Kristiina Kase, came to the path of self-development and meditation through grief. Over the past four years, she has undergone a significant transformation. At one point, she saw an advertisement for a meditation teacher training course and felt the desire to enroll. Initially, she had no plans to start teaching others, but as she spent more time in school, she realized that holding meditation spaces is a great way to bring peace and balance into everyone’s life.
Kristiina's journey to meditation
Kristiina had experienced considerable loss and grief throughout her life, unknowingly accumulating inside her because she lacked the knowledge and skills to cope with her thoughts and feelings during various life crises. At one point, all the unprocessed grief erupted from Kristiina with such force that she lost all desire and energy to live. She no longer understood herself, her feelings, or her thoughts. Kristiina felt completely lost and began searching for ways to cope with her grief, anxiety, and depression. “Grief was the starting point of my greater path to self-development, and today I can say that in the past four years, I have undergone a significant transformation as a person. My search led from grief counseling to various methods that supported me in understanding myself from new perspectives and brought increased self-awareness into my life. I read many different books, attended courses, and participated in various therapies,” she says.
Kristiina had not had much exposure to meditation, but at one point, when she saw an advertisement for a meditation teacher training course, she felt a strong inner urge to enroll in the Estonian Meditation School. She recalls that her mind began telling all sorts of stories about why she shouldn’t go, but Kristiina took that step into the unknown and is extremely grateful that she listened to her intuition this time. “After the first weekend at school, I tearfully felt that I had come home. Initially, I had no plans to teach or guide others, as I had enrolled in the school for myself, but as I spent more time there and saw the significant changes in myself and others, I realized that holding meditation spaces is a wonderful way to bring peace and balance into everyone’s life.”
Presence is an incredibly powerful tool for creating change
Kristiina still remembers her first weekend at the school, where she experienced how much the inner state truly changes during an hour-long active meditation. She was positively surprised by the inner peace she felt by the end of the meditation practice. “At the Estonian Meditation School, we practiced OSHO active meditations, which helped me connect with my body better than guided meditations I had tried before. I quickly realized that connecting with my body through movement and arriving in the present moment worked very well for me. It provides an opportunity to move from an overactive mind to the body,” she explains, adding that her first major insights were related to presence and connecting with the body. Kristiina realized that she had never really been connected to her body before. She points out that it was so interesting because she thought she had a body and could feel what was happening in it, but in reality, her sensitivity was completely shut off. “I was very good at planning, analyzing, and worrying, meaning I was very much in touch with my mind but not with my heart, essence, or body. The feeling when you consciously and fully experience yourself in your body rather than just thinking about it is incredibly powerful. After releasing various fears, I began to experience a state of love more and more, in a way that is unconditional, which was also a new experience for me. I realized that due to suppressed emotions and grief, I had locked my heart and thought about love much more than I had actually experienced it,” she says.
Additionally, Kristiina realized that she could be present in the moment only through her body—by being fully present in her body. Every time we think, we are not truly present in the moment. She points out that when walking in nature or playing with a child, your body is always present in that moment and breathes in that moment, but our attention tends to be on different thoughts. Thoughts are always related to the past or the future. “Did you know that you cannot think in the present moment, but can only experience it with your senses and body? It was quite a shock to discover how little I had been present in my life before. However, presence is an incredibly powerful tool for creating change, and it must be consciously learned. Our body is an amazing tool to constantly practice this and thus expand our consciousness,” she acknowledges.
We can change how we cope with our thoughts and emotions.
A big surprise for Kristiina was also discovering that meditation, as a state, is not about focusing on something (visualizing beautiful images or relaxing parts of your body) as she had previously inferred from guided meditations, but rather a state of being fully aware and relaxed at the same time, essentially not thinking. “In addition to this, meditation practices have also taught me to observe my thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, bringing me closer to the observer who thinks, feels, and experiences life. Previously, I identified with every thought or emotion and believed that this was me and my ‘character.’ However, I increasingly came to understand that all these automatic identifications were not my true authentic self. The focus shifted from external to internal,” she explains.
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